:(

There are too many things happening in this semester. These past few months have been a crazy ride. I'm exhausted physically and mentally, mostly. Too many things to do, and I don't really have the motivation to even get up sometimes. It was hard. I tried to fight it. I don't know if its pure laziness or depression. I don't think I have depression. I don't like to use the word depression. It's not a word one can use as he or she likes.

Maybe I'm just too stressed out. And homesick. I listen to depressing music a lot. Although it's sad and heartbreaking it somehow comforts me. I don't know if its the song that is sad, or if its me who is sad. I can't control my tears when I listen to these songs. And sometimes when I'm outside, I feel so, alone, and sad, even though there are a lot of people around me. I do crazy things, I act silly and do a lot of stupid things when I am around my classmates, and then when I'm in my room I feel, depressed? I just feel so sad. Maybe I'm homesick. Maybe I miss home. Maybe I miss my father.

I just wanna go back home, leave this place. Right now. 

I don't even feel like doing anything. I wanna drown myself in all these sad songs. Especially this.