Current comfort dramas.

It's 12.32am now. I feel like writing. I feel like there's a lot I want to say. But I can't really find the words to say what I wanna say. Am I even making sense.

Time flies. I'm going back uni next week. Damn, three months feel so short. I'm not ready for responsibility yet. I'm not ready for a lot of things. I'm going to be a third year senior. I feel old. There are many things I'm scared of. One of them is, what if I am left alone again? What if I have no other choice but to work with people I don't wanna work with? What if I keep disappoint myself? What if people know my secrets? I wish I didn't have to work with anyone or interact with anyone in uni. I wish it was possible to graduate with just doing my assignments alone and pass the final exams. Everyone is selfish in uni. You gotta be selfish in order to survive. It's a battle of who can be more selfish. I'm quite selfish but there are many others who can be even more selfish. I can't compete with them. I'm gonna lose. I know I'm gonna lose to them. Nobody can save me from this. I wanna run away. I wanna quit, but I can't. I need to finish what I started. But I don't know if I'm strong enough to face this. I don't know if I can be patient. I feel like I'm going crazy from all these negative thoughts.

I don't want to be another disappointment to my family. But I'm really scared. I feel like I'm gonna fail.