the reason.

"Why do you want to go home so badly?"

I was asked this question by a friend.

I told her I just wanted to go home.

But then this question keeps coming back to me. Why do I want to go home so badly?



I keep thinking. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why.

I think I know now.



I want to get away from all these people. These people I can't be my real self around. Damn Move Along by The All-American Rejects is playing now and I feel like crying. Ok so. Well, I don't hate these people. I just don't really feel comfortable around them. And there are so many things I want to do but I can't do it here.

A lot of times, I made up excuses so that I didn't have to hang out with these people. I'm tired of making up excuses now. I want to be home where I don't have to interact with anybody except my family. It really is not their faults. I guess I just don't really like people. I also find it difficult to make real connections. Probably because I can't be myself. On top of that, I'm bad at thanking people, I find it awkward when people are doing things for me like a birthday surprise and then when people tell me about their problems I don't know how to react. I'm really, awkward? I want to be a good friend but I feel like I'm not even a good person why am I trying to be something I'm not. I also find myself hating others but keep it to myself while still "being nice" to those people. I try to distance myself from others so that I can avoid doing all these things but these people don't understand. And the fact that some of these people are making me do things I don't wanna do, it frustrates me so much. I just hate it here. That's why I wanna go home. Desperately.

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