shitty day.

Hello. How many days have I been stuck here? I don't even know anymore.

So many people are going back to their home now. I wanna go home too. But I need to settle everything first. Because once I leave, I am not going back here again. Never again. 

Today I feel real shitty. I teared up because of my class. When I think about it again, maybe, I was I don't know I guess I expected too much from my students. No one answered my question during the class. I talked to myself for more than 20 minutes. I don't know if they're even listening. I feel so hopeless and I don't like that I can't see them during the class. I mean, if they join the class, they should at least respond to my questions right? But they're not doing that. I feel shitty. I'm a boring teacher I know. And to make things worse I'm teaching a subject that is not important to them. So, many of them just ignored my text. They knew the details of the class, but they just ignored it. I honestly am so tired. I know I will not ignore the fact that some of them might have problems with internet access, but if they don't have internet they won't be able to see my text. But they saw it. It's just them choosing to ignore me because my class is not important at all. I hate this. If I complain this to my supervisor, she would probably say "Then you should try to make your lesson interesting. Try to attract their attention.". Oh if only she knew, these kids didn't even want to listen to me before this whole pandemic started. Every day I feel shittier. I just want everything to be over already. I'm so fucking tired of all this. I'm fucking tired of putting so much effort but none of the students truly give a fuck about my class. I was already fine with the low attendance, but I can't fucking deal with being ignored when they are clearly joined the online class session. If they're not going to respond, they might as well not join the class. It's so frustrating. Our supervisor, will never understand. That sucks. I hate everything. Everything is so shitty. My students are a bunch of motherfuckers. Except maybe two persons. Or three, I don't know. I just want all this to be over.