This is the last time, hopefully.

When I was about to start writing, I heard a knock on my door. I had to put off writing this. Now almost 2 hours later, I am continuing this because I feel like I need to write this now to put an end to my feelings.

Because of what they said, I started to assume he liked me. But honestly there was no proof at all. For all I know he might even has a girlfriend already. And I spent a week fantasizing about him. I felt guilty for doing that. So I want to stop. I don't want to be affected whenever I hear his name, or when he talks to me. I can't show any emotions. It's even better if I can get rid of my feelings completely. Though it's just a crush anyway. Nothing serious. It will be easy to move on. I hope so. 

I need to remind myself that I can't be with anyone from here because we don't share the same belief. I must remind myself that I can't have feelings for this kind of person. Morever, I don't deserve to be liked by someone. I'm a messed up and a shitty person. It's only right if I am alone. That's how things should be. That's how my life should be.