I'm terrified.

I didn't really start the new year in a positive way. 

I do have a good news though. 

I am finally able to let go of my heaviest burden at work. 

In a way, my new year actually didn't start off badly. A burden is gone and a new responsibility is given to me but at least it doesn't make me hate going to work. 

I still have that something I wanna get off my chest. However, I just can't find the right moment to write all about it. 

How's work? I still hate how I have to pretend all the time. Pretending I'm happy. Pretending their insulting words don't get to me. Pretending I enjoy my job and life. Sometimes I wish I could just disappear. I hate the amount of socializing that I have to do at work.  It's too draining. And I wish people would leave me alone. There are even some creepy people at work. One of them is the creepiest of them all. I regret letting him take pictures with me. I'm scared that he's gonna tell everyone that I'm his fucking girlfriend. He already sent me a text with our picture with the caption claiming he's my boyfriend. This is why I hate men. These men are pretending to be different but they are all the same. They are all perverts and don't know how to respect a woman's privacy/boundaries. Like this guy is more than 10 years older than me, but he's making jokes like "Here's a picture of you and your bf" and inserted a picture of himself and me. The worst part is this guy is a fucking counsellor. I thought he would know better. He clearly didn't. He's just like all the old perverts at my work. I've lost all my respect for them now.  

There's one thing that bothers me. I notice that he sometimes put his phone on his chest pocket, BUT the camera is facing in front of him. It's like he purposely keep his phone that way. I'm so terrified of the thought that he is recording everything in front of him. Maybe I'm overthinking it but it's not impossible. Sometimes he would also pretend to take pictures of me and my other female colleagues. What's he gonna do with the pictures? I don't even wanna imagine it. Now I'm fucking scared. This guy is even shameless. When he sent me the text with my picture, I told him that I'm gonna run when I see him. I meant it. Then today, he saw me and keep saying "Run, you should run." while laughing. Is that normal? I don't fucking think so. This guy is becoming too daring nowadays. If he keeps that up, I'm really gonna fucking leave. That's one more reason to leave. So thanks to him. Now I don't feel safe here. I will leave soon.