fuck marriage.

I know I said I'm dying. But I guess it's not time yet. So I'll write.

I'll turn 25 this year which means I have 5 more years before I turn 30. That's so soon.

The last time I was in a relationship was when I was 15. Well, I can't even call that a relationship but that is the closest thing to relationship that I had. I haven't been in a relationship since then. It would be a lie if I say I never dream of being in a relationship. I did, not anymore though. 

Recently, an acquaintance contacted me and told me he's interested in me. After exchanging a few texts with him, I realise that I will never want to be more than friends with him. He tried too hard it was such a big turn off. I had to reject him quite a few times because he just didn't get it. It was clear that he was bored as fuck and he wanted someone, anyone to be his girlfriend. He seemed to think that he would get what he wanted, but I could see right through him, through his texts. It was so fucking obvious. Ugh, gross.

After this incident, it got me thinking that I won't be in a relationship in a while. Not until I find someone who is genuine. Hopefully I'll find someone when I turn 30, that is if I'm still alive then. 

I haven't changed my mind about not getting married. I still won't get married. 

But you know, being 25 (will be soon), and having other older unmarried siblings, meaning that people will ask about marriage. 

My mother has mentioned about marriage a few times now. She didn't explicitly ask when we are going to get married. However, we get the hints. 

Joke's on her. None of us are even in a relationship. And I don't think any of us even think of marriage. All we care about is making money, that's the case for me at least. I don't even have a job yet. She must be thinking getting married is free. The fact that she even dare to mention about marriage when she had a failed marriage with my father, so baffling. How dare she even think about our marriage. We don't need to get married. We don't want to get married. I want to say it to her face, but I don't want to get lectured by her. So I shut my mouth. It's better to just pretend I hear nothing.  

No hate on people who want to get married. You do you. Just know that some people have different priorities in life. For me, marriage is not on my list. I need money. I will focus on making money. The end.