Please be kind to us.

Today I went to a cafe by myself. There was a family dining in the cafe. As I was facing them, I couldn't help observing their interaction with each other. It felt so foreign to me. The way they talked to and treated each other. It's something that's unfamiliar to me. And it reminded me of a thought I had recently. 

People my age date with marriage in mind. Many of them want to build a family. That's why I'm staying single. I desire none of them. Not marriage. And especially not building a family with someone. 

Besides, I'm gonna die anyway, so what's the point?

My brother is in the hospital now. While I worry I'm dying, he's being warded. Are all of us going to die one by one, before my father does? I hope not. We can't die before him. I don't want any of us to die before him. I don't want to leave him heartbroken. 

I wish life was kinder to us.