Missing home.
I'm feeling homesick already. It's only been a few hours since I left.
The house we live in does not even feel like home, but it is undeniably the place where I feel the safest. I can stay inside for as long as I want and nobody would say anything. I am free of judgement and hidden from the world when I'm home. So right now I feel anxious and it feels like I am forced to run when I don't even want to. I want to scream. I want to run away. I get the urge to just quit everything and leave. But life is not a movie. I have to earn money to live. If I quit, there's no guarantee I would be able to get back on my feet again.
Starting tomorrow I'll have to live like a zombie again. It already sounds exhausting. I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I will be able to put on a smile and work with people I don't like or work this job that I loathe. I just want to lie down and stare at nothing. I don't even want to talk to people. I just want to live a quiet life. Should I really quit?
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