congratulations.,

Since I got my semester 2's result today, I'm going to blog about this.

My result is okay. But, I could have done better. Actually, the part "I could have done better" is not what concern me right now, it is how my classmate has managed to get better result than me.

Last semester, I got the highest pointer in my class, she was second. And the difference between our pointer? 0.08. This time, she got the highest pointer, and I came second, with the difference 0.17. The figure doubled. So close yet so far.

Yes the difference is so small, but to me,  it was huge. Huge difference. Huge gap. I was kind of jealous. Oh let me rephrase that. I am jealous. I am jealous of her result. She even got an extra A more than me. It makes me feel like I'm a failure. A fucking loser.

I want to be happy for her, but I can't. It's hard for me to be happy for someone who got something I want. It's hard for me to smile and congratulate them sincerely. I cannot do that.

Therefore I did not congratulate her. I'm sorry. Just let me congratulate you when I finally can be sincere about it.

And hopefully, that day will come. The day when I am no longer jealous of other people's achievements. The day when I can be happy for them and congratulate them sincerely.

What's the point of me blogging about this?  To let you know what I learnt from it.

1. Do not have high expectations if you do not want to get disappointed.

2. Know that you can't always be on the top.

3. Do not study last minute. Study till last minute instead.

Lastly, it's okay to fall down, but don't forget to get back up.

Am thankful for the result. And I will try my best to get better or the best result for the next semester. Which is also my last semester. All the best, to myself, and everyone who is in the same battle as me.