another rant nobody gives a shit about

I just finished reading a book. The last time I read a book for pleasure was last year's January. Though I did read a few other novels but they were for a course I was taking last semester. So I won't count it.

Anyway, it's been a great time being home. I'm going back to reality aka university soon. I hate my life. 

I wish I could have a happy ending for my life. But I'm kinda lazy. I'm too lazy, too scared to work for things I want. The main character of the book I just read, found happiness in a realistic way after going through hell. I aspire to be like her. But I know I'll never be like her. First of all, I'm not as strong as her. I'm very timid. I'm scared of too many things. I don't like change. I also think I'm too ordinary. And I feel like I'm just going to end up either a failure like my siblings or become a person with a job/life that she hates. I always have this dream where I am making more than enough money to do what I want to buy whatever I want. But I know that things that I imagine usually happen in opposite way. So, I need to stop imagining myself having a happy life. 

Lastly, I want to share what the main character said about blogging.