reflection.

I removed my previous post. I was angry at that time.

Now I'm calmer. I'll write again.

Actually I wanna write about the series I watched on Netflix few days ago. But I'll save it for next post.

So, I said I was not playing victim. I guess I was. I just didn't realize it. Actually I don't even know anymore.

This semester is a mess. I think, we can survive. However, we might have further ruining our bonds among our classmates. Not like we have a "bond" before this. It was already broken anyway, the bond I mean, but it's worse now. I don't really know how to feel about this.


Today the people that saved me once, have to work with people they don't really want to work with. I wish I could save them. I hate myself for not being able to help them. I never once forget what they did for me. But what am I doing? I just look at them, helplessly. I hate myself. They asked me why I didn't fight for them. I know they said it half-jokingly. But, I'm sure they meant it. I know how hard it is being in their position. I guess I was being selfish, when I didn't sacrifice myself.

I said before that I hate the system, the "pair work" thing. Now I think I just hate group work. Any group work. I prefer working alone. I personally think it's easier to do things alone. Though having group mates means having more brains, so the brainstorming part will be easier.

I don't know anymore.