I want it but I don't know how to get it.

I just ended my trip to Bangkok. It was a truly eye-opening experience even though I didn't even get to see and do much there.

I have so much to say but I don't think I'll be able to write it all now. Currently it's almost 2am.

Bangkok or Thailand in general is a beautiful place with beautiful people. Literally every woman or girl I see, they are so beautiful. 

Through this trip, I learned a lot of things. I'll start with this first. Men. There are so many men in this world. I've seen so many men throughout my trips though most of them were with their girlfriends. It just gets me thinking how my choice is so restricted because I always see the same guys every day. I barely go anywhere except work. It's embarrassing to admit that I have a crush on one of my male colleagues. I don't even like him that much. But he's the only guy I see. 

After this trip, I tell myself that I won't develop feelings for some guy just because I see them every day. I should find someone who can support me in what I do. Someone to travel with. Someone to go to concert with. I mean I don't have to do it with my partner, but having a partner who enjoys going to concert sounds nice. I don't know how I'm going to find such a person. Or if it's even possible. What's for sure is that I will not just accept what is there in front of me. I'm going to be picky about the man I'm going to choose. Other people can try all their might to pair me up with someone at my work but I've made up my mind. I ain't getting into any relationships until I find someone who is truly compatible with me. Someone that shares my interest. Someone that finds me attractive though I have to say this one is gonna be difficult. I find myself to be just plain average in terms of look. I don't even have a nice personality. Perhaps I am destined to be alone.  

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