I want to quit.

Counting days. 

I hate going to work. I hate working with toxic people. I hate having to pretend every day while talking to people I actually hate. I hate being treated like I'm not important and being told the burden I carry is non-existent. I hate having to fake everything every second. I even have to pretend I'm full of energy when inside I'm dying. It's hard. Life is hard when you have a job that is so taxing on your physical, emotional and mental health. Maybe I'm weak. So then they should understand. Instead they just ignore my complaints. They treat me like I'm a robot without feelings. I have feelings too. I feel tired and I feel hurt too. I have probably thousand of things to do but how much time do I have? And then every day I have to scold people, get angry, be disappointed. There's no joy. I know I chose the wrong path. I want to quit and do something else but there's really nothing else I can do. The second best thing I could do is to get transferred somewhere else. Not in this toxic place. I don't think I will last long. I might explode someday. If I die from my frustration, they won't even care. I will only be replaced. I've seen it happened before. 

I hate work. I hate my job. But I'll try to hold on. I'll tell myself I'm gonna get out of this place. Every day I will tell myself, "You are going to leave, so make sure you can leave without regrets." I must make it happen. I will leave. I will make sure I leave. That will be the only thing that keep me going in this toxic place. I will make it happen. I will leave.